Food Rule #7

Food Rule #7: The Cereal Prize Rule - If a box of cereal contains a prize, it must be removed upon opening the box. You MUST NOT wait until the cereal is finished, but instead dig it out violently and greedily with little to no regard for the safety of yourself or others.



Note: Anyone who is concerned about crushing their cereal is an incompetent pansy, and should be shunned from society for the rest of their adult lives.

Food Rule #6

Food Rule #6: The Mascot Rule - Any cereal lacking an animated mascot should be avoided at all costs. If you think you are too old for cartoon mascots, then you are too old for cereal. Shell out some change and drive yourself to fucking Denny's.

Food Rule #5

Food Rule #5: The Remaining Milk Rule - After finishing a bowl of cereal, the milk at the bottom of the bowl must be drunk. There is no excuse.